Lessons I've learned from Sex and the City as a 20-something

As a 20-something-year-old figuring out modern dating, career uncertainty, and the occasional identity crisis, I finally picked up one of the most iconic shows of the 90's and early 2000's: Sex and the City. To say I love it, is an understatement. When I was a kid, this was the epitome of being an adult- that's when I'd get a quick glimpse while clicking through the channels to find Disney Channel or Nickelodeon. I thought that when I became an adult, I'd get to be like Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, or Charlotte because that is EXACTLY what being a grown woman was (note the sarcasm)!

I finished all 6 seasons a few months ago and immediately started rewatching season 1 because I couldn't get enough of it. Although the show contains many outdated plots, jokes, and stereotypes that haven't aged well in today's world; it was a product of its' time in an era so different from now. So, keep that bit in mind while watching, but overall, I think it's a great show. As a 20- something watching the show for the first time, here are some things I've picked up on that make me feel a little bit better about not having my life fully together or the way I pictured when I was younger:

1) It is A-OK to not have life figured out...

Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda are women in their 30s and 40s who are still navigating life. They have career issues and love life problems and are still trying to figure out their own identity. Everyone is on their own journey and what one person has going for them- you may not have. What you have going for you- someone else may not have. Everyone's life is different so constantly comparing yourself to others your age isn't helping anyone!

2) There's no right way to do a relationship...

Young me had such a fairytale idea of love. Although, I'm sure there are people who have the fairytale love story, not everyone does. And that's okay. There is no "right way" to do love. There will be fights, breakups, self-sabotages, and reconciliations. Love is a roller coaster and isn't smooth the whole ride- there will always be ups and downs. This contributes to growth and learning what you want and who you are.

3) You don't have to apologize for everything...

This one was a big one for me. I am a people pleaser, and would apologize for literally everything. I had the hardest time saying no to people and putting myself first, and if I did I would profusely apologize for it. The guilt would eat me alive! I have recently learned that it's okay to say no and put myself first sometimes. If I don't want to do something I don't have to do it. Yea, it may hurt someone a little, but if it saves me the mental and physical stress... Now, that doesn't mean to be completely inconsiderate of other people. I'm not saying to only think about you, you, you. Also, don't be stuck in your comfort zone, but just don't force yourself for the sake of pleasing other people to make them like you. Make decisions on your own terms, own it, and don't apologize!

4) Don't chase someone who isn't picking you...

In the show, Big doesn't really prioritize Carrie and she's often seen just waiting for him to pick her. We all know by the end, the end up together, but in reality- don't waste your time running after a guy who isn't choosing you! I've been there a couple of times and can confirm that it's not worth your time and effort. This seems pretty plain and simple.

5) Your 20's are for exploration...

This can be your personal life, love life, work life, friendships, travelling, hobbies etc. Right now, I am learning more about myself than I ever have in the past. I'm learning what I want and don't want in a relationship while still giving people a fair chance because nobody's perfect (especially not me!). I'm learning what to do with my career path in this awful job market. I'm learning about which people in my life are worth keeping in touch with and which ones are not. I'm in my mid twenties and I like to think I'm a "late-bloomer", so I'm now exploring a lot of aspects of my life that I never did before. This includes saying yes to exciting things I would've otherwise said no to before and getting out of my comfort zone. I had one trajectory: education, work, romance. I've let that mindset go a long time ago, but for a while, that was my mindset. What I'm trying to say is that I've become more open-minded and have a bit more clarity with my life right now. I'm in my self-discovery era if you couldn't tell already :)

So those are some things I've picked up on watching Sex and the City. I'm well aware that this is a TV show, and a lot of things are exaggerated, but I do think there are still some underlying messages you can pick up on! Again, the show does contain some outdated humor and plots, but it's still pretty solid.

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Are there any things you related to while watching the show (doesn't matter what age)? Also, what girl do you think you're most similar to? I know I'm a mix of Charlotte and Carrie!

-N